Beginnings

I've been through a fair few beginnings in my life. Starting schools, restarting schools, trying new friends, making new people etc. But there has always been that fear that never goes away, I fear the places I know, I fear the unknown.

I think the purpose I wanted to write this blog post was because it gives me a chance to reflect and get down how I feel somewhere on the internet. So, a lot has changed recently. I have officially finished my AS exams, first year of sixth form is done. Wow. Overwhelming? most definitely. I have left college (another shock), and rejoined my old secondary schools sixth form. Despite the fact I am so happy going back, being with old friends, old teachers; I am so scared. But the more I think about it, I cannot work out why. I think its the fear that I'm not going to be excepted and fit in again, or that I'm going to feel out of place. But again, I am very excited about going back and I know this was the best choice I could make because I will succeed at this school, I wouldn't have if I stayed at college. There is a lot to say about college, but I will never say anything bad because I really enjoyed my time there. I met so many lovely people, and they have taught me to be myself and be original. Thats one thing that will forever stick with me. I love them all so much and hope I can still stay friends with a fair few of them.

Ronan. I cannot begin to explain to you how much this boy means to me. Never in my life have I ever been able to be so happy, so confident and so trustworthy towards somebody before. He has very quickly became my best friend and honestly I cannot thank him enough for everything he has done for me throughout the past 6 months. I had a lot of personal issues before I had met him, comparing myself to other people, not ever feeling good enough- he has changed this. Although, I have to admit, It was a struggle, he has made me realise that I am who I am, and I will always be good enough if I think that I am good enough. These last 6 months with him have been unexplainable, never had such an emotional mix of months. But no doubt, he is the person I would love to be with for the rest of my life. May be a bit weird to some of you that I've said that, but honestly, if I was with somebody like Ronan, I will be such a good person and live such a beautiful life.

New Jobs. I have had my fair few of jobs throughout the past years. But I am currently working at Clarks. A very well established business. And despite the bad days, Im really enjoying it. The public can be a mix of bad and good, but those good ones no doubt make me feel happy to be in their presence. Its a good job once you know everything to do with shoes! Lets hope I get kept on after the back to school season!

And I think that is it! Thats all thats really going on at the moment, Booked VFest Tickets! Very very excited to go in August! WOO! I'll be back in a few weeks, or months.. You'll hear from me soon. Have a good day x