Change

There has been a subject in which I have found myself battling a lot this year, finding every excuse possible to not talk about it and that is change. I feel as if this word gives off multiple different connotations, but personally I have always thought of the word to be negative and something bad that would happen. This came up a lot during my last year at secondary school as change was one thing that was rapidly approaching all of us, and I was in a position where I wasn't happy with the change that was approaching me. Personally, the thought of me becoming independent with my studies (these would be my GCSES), and having such responsibility on my life absolutely terrified me. I knew that after my GCSES, I had the choice to do whatever I wanted to do, go wherever I wanted to go and if that decision was wrong, it would be my fault. 

This brings me onto the forever questionable 'what ifs'. I am now left with the huge decision of where I will be attending for the next 2 years of my life. On August 20th, I shall be getting my GCSE exam results, the results that will change what I do for the next 2/3 years of my life. And let me tell you, it absolutely terrifies me that this is approaching so fast. I couldn't tell you how I did at all, whether I fit into the 'failed' category or one in which I will be pleased with the grades I have achieved. Once I step into that hall to get my results, I will make the decision of whether I stay in my comfort zone or move into the unknown. This decision has made a huge impact on my summer so far as I know I will have to make it sooner or later, in fact within the next 12 days I will need to make it. Comfort zones are always something I have found myself to stay in, whether that be doing a sport I would have previously done rather than something I have always wanted to do. Or whether that be hanging around with the same group, rather than making new friends. I personally stuggle with this, I am scared to go to a new school, continuously asking myself if people are going to like me, or whether I will miss where I have grown up the past 5 years of my life, leaving behind my best friend(s) and some of my favourite teachers.

However, despite this barrier of change that I have been constantly hid behind. This summer has made me realise that there isn't anything bad about being scared of the unknown. Once you're past that barrier, there is a whole new life beyond you. Whether I stay at my current school or go into a completely new area is undecided till I get my results. But I just want to tell you, never be scared of doing something because you are on your own. Friends will come and go, sometimes you have to sit back and think is this where you want to be and are you truly, truly happy with yourself. So that is what I am going to leave you with today, I hope you guys understand the impact of this blog post and think about what you're scared of. 

Amy xx